Sometimes, I find it comforting to live my life in isolation. It’s not a wise pick, though. Somehow I feel the need to have some sort of escape hatch from my present world. I dwell on the thinnest thoughts of my being – dream. If I can’t make things happen, I’m suiting myself on dreaming of them. Some dreams do come true, some stay right there in my thoughts. Some dreams die before my very eyes. Some already dead. Does it matters whether dreams come true or not? It matters. I am hopeful for most of them. I feel frustrated for my lost dreams, and I feel triumphant for those dreams come true.
Lately, I am staying on my dreamland more often than necessary. Perhaps that’s my defense mechanism so I will not get hurt even for these short moments. I want to spare myself from hurting further. I paused from time to time, because I have to attend to my present realm. As soon as I’d finished with my present business, I promptly shifted in a dream mode.
In a place where dreams do exist, when I am not limited by my capacity, where I can think as far as my thoughts would bring me. I can run to the golden fields of grains in a harvest season… I can swim on a cold, quiet lake… I can race with gazelle… I can met my loved ones, I can spend most of my time conversing with them, I can feel the happiness of their laughter, the warmth of their embrace, I can even hear their promises, I can tell them how much I love them, and ho much I care for them.
There will be no hurts, no grudges to bear, no frustrations, no failures. Everything around me are in harmony. I am a happy man.
I miss how to feel that way.