Posted in Everyday Living, Reflections

Let Not Your Past Dictate Your Future


This one’s for those labelled as misfits out there.

Had you ever felt an emptiness? Vague? Felt like you’re a failure? Like you didn’t lived out with people’s expectations in which sometimes somehow You set a standard for the first place? Worry not, you’re not alone.

Look at me. Well, I failed in numerous aspects, but i’ve got the face value -haha. Allow me to share some of my experiences in which life’s failures taught me lots of lessons, to be where I am now – still handsome (i know you heard me first time, i know).

Being a college dropout, need to say more? I can’t help but to have an insecurity built all around me. But I have Jesus. I may sound unfair of bringing my faith in the table, however I don’t have much under my sleeve. While my classmates are busy finishing their degree, I am busy working all day, if not sulking away. I will be a hypocrite if I did not envy them. Then God taught me one strategy: if I can’t beat them with their diploma, I’m going to beat ’em with skillset. So I focus on learning new skillset, crafting it, and mastering into perfection. All my efforts are paid off. Even today, people are being amazed of my skills which I humbly and shyly refer to as ‘due to years of working.’ 

On one occasion, I broke someone’s heart. It’s a failure in handling a relationship. Many contributing factors popped up, however, cultural norms (wherein people favors a woman) – ended myself guilty as charged. I took the blame. But that did not stopped me from loving again. I knew God must’ve His reasons why I experienced that. He should have! My pain is real. 

You know, there’s a tendency to hide in a cloak of invisibility. I’m not referring to some kind of superpowers. It’s the pain behind a smile, bitterness behind cheerful aura, insecurities buried in the deepest of our being. That’s a cloak of invisibility. The drawback? no one seems to notice, no one seems to care EXCEPT those who went through, or are still undergoing the pain you are into. 

Here’s where we are good at. We can blend in our surroundings, while God in His lovingkindness, is shaping our bruised heart. Yes, we are tired. We never wished for it for the first place. We did our best, given our all, but we’d fallen short. Listen to this: you have to focus on the growth factor. Believe that everything is essential for your character development. And keep believing that God is preparing you into something – in which you will fit in, in due time.

If there’s one lie you should not believe, is the voice that telling you ‘You’re a failure.’ We all fail, but don’t let that setback hold you back from reaching your destiny. God, throughout history, called people who are notoriously/horribly failed. He called the doubtful (Thomas), the proud (Peter), the coward (Gideon), the insecured (Moses) – to fulfill important missions. Inspite their failures/shortcomings, God thought they’re fit for the job! So let God humor the humanity once again by choosing YOU as important piece to complete a mission that in due time, God will call you to fulfill.

Look at me, I am a school dropout, yet have a job. I once believed a failure in relationship, yet happily married with a son. If there’s one trait that did not changed is my confidence with my face value (laughs). Yeah, that’s what we do, we laugh – genuinely.

If you are still reading up to this part, let me tell you this: God is not finished with you yet. 

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Feel free to drop PM to starcrossvoyager@gmail.com or in Twitter @bert_sharie

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